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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23795755">The Hard Truth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapNstuff/pseuds/CapNstuff'>CapNstuff</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bisexuality, Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, HIV/AIDS, HIV/AIDS Crisis, Hurt Bucky Barnes, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, ball culture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:01:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,472</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23795755</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapNstuff/pseuds/CapNstuff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The team thinks you’ve been sent by Hydra.</p><p>If you are uncomfortable by any means of trauma due to LGBTQ+ or homelessness don’t read or read with caution!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Hard Truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The reader is Bisexual! These are some real experiences LGBTQ+ go through and have gone through, and some experiences of my own, so if you don’t like it, don’t read it. And please! Be safe and wear protection! I hope you all enjoy, I love writing angst! Please, if you are uncomfortable by any means of trauma due to LGBTQ+ or homelessness don’t read or read with caution! Enjoy!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You had just gotten back from your best friend’s hospital room. You slid your heels off and sighed at the sweet relief. Your dress was skin tight and you groaned excitedly, taking it off. That night, Tony hosted a huge party in celebration of the team having a big successful mission that lasted for months. You were having fun with all of them, laughing and dancing until you got a call from the nurse saying you needed to visit Kyle because his white blood cell count was dangerously low. You snuck away, getting into your car, and sped all the way to the hospital. Much to your dismay, the avengers looked at each other suspiciously and knowingly at you sneaking away.</p><p>You’ve known Kyle since you were 15. Your parents kicked you out after finding you in bed with a woman. Even though you liked both men and women, your parents insisted you were gay which was the ultimate cursed sin. Not long after the arguing, they kicked you out and left you homeless. You were sleeping on park benches in the Bronx when Kyle found you. He immediately told his mother that you were another one of them–LGBTQ+. She took you in and treated you as her own. In addition, she took you and Kyle to balls (which you won in almost every category because of how iconic you both were).</p><p>Around 5 years ago, Kyle tested positive for HIV. He cried into you as more people sat waiting for their test results. For 4 years he was able to get proper treatment and keep his levels up through vitamins and anti-viral medicine. Sadly, his body couldn’t keep up and he was diagnosed with a heart condition that rapidly declined his health over the year. You were so busy with the Avengers that visiting every day became every week. You felt guilty–but Kyle refused and told you otherwise.</p><p>Recently, you and Barnes were as close as ever. Just the other day ago he had asked you on a date and were planning to go out tomorrow. You hadn’t been this happy with someone in a very long time and to say you were excited was an understatement. Even with the Avengers, they felt like a family to you. You jerked in surprise as the AI’s voice filled your darkroom. “The team would like to speak with you. They’re in the common area. Would you like me to notify you’re coming?” You said yes and quickly put your dress on, not wanting to go out there in your embarrassing pj’s.</p><p>You walked out into the living area and Tony gestured you to sit down. You looked at them confused as multiple agents surrounded the area, even Fury was there. “What’s all this?” Tony sat down with the Avengers and Fury insisted you wore cuffs–which made you furrow your eyebrows. You tried to crack a joke, “Are we having an orgy or something?” you tipped a light smile but nobody responded with a word. They all had blank stares.</p><p>“What’s going on? Why am I in handcuffs?” Steve growled, he’d had enough of you. “Stop acting so innocent. I can’t believe we trusted you. Bucky trusted you!”</p><p>You looked at him with a ‘what the fuck’ face. “What the fuck are you talking about?” This time Nat spoke up. “Oh cut the shit, Y/L/N. Sneaking out every chance? Not telling us of your past? Cut the questions. Tell us the truth.” You sighed, knowing this would come up at some point. You didn’t want to tell them who you really were because you were scared they wouldn’t accept you like your parents.</p><p>“Yeah, okay. You guys deserve the-” Steve was quick to interrupt you. “Aha! I knew it! I knew you were a bitch. You backstabbing liar.” Your head whipped over to his, ready to read his ass but you stopped when you saw Bucky. He was looking at the ground, eyes wide and every inch of his body started to tense with anger more and more.</p><p>He got up, he didn’t want to hear how you had been using him for information. He didn’t want to hear how you didn’t love him. He didn’t want to hear how annoyingly needy he is. He didn’t want to hear you say that he’s a monster and Hydra needs that monster. Hell, he’s not kidding anyone. He couldn’t hear that from you or his heart would break.</p><p>Steve continued on with his rant. “You’re a horrible person. Especially doing that to Bucky, he will never work for you anymore. I mean hell, I was fooled! I can’t believe you work for Hydra-” You couldn’t let Steve continue. “I’m sorry, what? You think I’m working for Hydra?” This time Tony spoke, who you had grown so close to this past year.</p><p>“Oh don’t give me that innocent shit. You’ve been sneaking away, probably to tell Hydra agents where we are and information about Barnes. You dirty little-” You held up your hand, not being used to cuffs you could only go halfway.</p><p>Tears stung your eyes. “I can’t believe none of you trust me. Do you know why there’s nothing on my file?” They shook their heads. “I was never able to fill out proper documents because my parents kicked me out at 15-” Clint gave you a look. “Oh, come on. 15? And why would they kick you out?” “Will all of you just shut up and let me fucking finish?”</p><p>Bucky sat back down and everyone nodded at you to continue. “I had this girl that I liked came over. We started to kiss and my parents got home earlier than I had expected. They ran into my room and started screaming how their real child wouldn’t be gay and that the devil must have convinced me. They were convinced that this wasn’t who I am. I argued with them, telling them that it was still me and this is who I was but they didn’t listen and kicked me out.”</p><p>Sam raised his eyebrow. “You think any of us are gonna believe that sob story? Why are you sneaking out so much then? And being secretive?” Clint started yelling again. “And what else could your secrecy be? In a cult? Just tell us who you’re working for!” Your head whipped towards his. “Because all of you are like family! I haven’t had that in a really long time, okay? I didn’t want to lose that! Since my mother died, the one that took me off the streets and fed me, I haven’t been close to anyone! I was afraid that you would all kick me out like my biological parents did!”</p><p>Your words became muffled and quiet as more tears and snot-filled your face. “If… If I lost you all… I don’t know what I’d do.” All their eyes flashed with guilt but you weren’t having it. How dare they act like your story isn’t true. How dare they not trust you. Many people in your community have had the same experiences.</p><p>“So, I didn’t tell you but you know what? Fuck you. Fuck all of you! And for your information homophobia is a fucking thing. My parents, and many of my community’s parents, kicked us out because of it. So fuck you for thinking it’s fake.”</p><p>Your face got red as each one of their faces were glued to the floor. You laughed. “And now you don’t even have the decency to look at me. You’re all cowards.” Bucky flinched as he took one look at you. Your eyes were red and puffy, nose runny. Would a Hydra agent act so hurt by their family?</p><p>You were livid and hurt. How dare they? “Since it’s so goddamn important, I’ve been sneaking around because the person found me sleeping on park benches is my brother and he has AIDS. I’ve been taking care of him because he’s fucking dying! The one person who trusts me and cares for me is fucking dying. I would sneak off because I didn’t want you to find out what an abomination I was. So if you’ll excuse me, agents, I’m going back to go take care of my one and only, actual family.”</p><p>They all flinch at your words as Fury lets the agents un-cuff you. You turn back one last time. “If you still have the audacity of not believing me then you can follow me to the fucking hospital.” You pointed at them and narrowed your eyes. “But don’t you fucking dare go anywhere near my family.”</p><p>None of them followed but Bucky and Steve. Even though the others were convinced, Steve wasn’t completely. Bucky wanted to follow you because you were right. He is a coward. After your outburst, he couldn’t get the balls to talk to you. To tell you how sorry he is for not believing you. How could he think you were a double agent? He thinks his brain thought you were too good to be true, so he let himself believe that your relationship with him was just a ruse. He wanted to apologize so badly but he knew you wouldn’t accept it.</p><p>–</p><p>You knew those two were following you. It was not hard to spot two giant super soldiers in a crowd. Plus, you were trained as an assassin, it was your job to find others following you. You just didn’t know why. Did they not believe you?</p><p>You greeted the nurse, Jane, at the front desk. You sighed into the visitor’s sheet and started to talk to her. Steve felt his whole stomach drop. Why would you be lying if you knew the nurse so well? Bucky’s eyes widened but continued to follow you.</p><p>You got to the room number and knocked on the door. You opened it up and was greeted with a confused Kyle. Bucky and Steve were on either side of the door, listening in. “What are you doing back so early? Bitch, I just saw you!” You smiled sorrowfully, not ready to joke with him just yet. He sat up a bit but soon clutched his chest in pain. The heart condition was really starting to take some tole.</p><p>You gave him some of his water but the attention went solely back to you. Kyle knew you needed this. “What’s up, girly?” You sighed and explained the whole situation at the compound. He was angry for you, raving about how he’ll go up there himself and beat all of them up. You both giggled but that soon turned into tears falling down your face.</p><p>“Hey, babes, it’s okay. They just don’t understand. None of them are like us. They don’t know what we went through and will go through in the future but they’ll come back to you. They’ll apologize to you.” Kyle squeezed your hand. “But what if they don’t? My father never contacted me or tried to make amends before he died. What if they’re like him? What if-” “Bitch, if you don’t shut up with that shit I swear. If all the Avengers are homophobic then should they really be our life saviors?” Your lips formed into a big smile and you playfully hit him. “Bitch, shut up.” You paused and squeezed his hand back. “It just.. Hurts a lot, you know?”</p><p>Kyle gasped as Bucky and Steve walked into the room. “Oh no, you came to the wrong fucking place. I may be drying but I will destroy you backstabbing assholes-” You rolled your eyes and slapped his hand gently. Your next words were quiet, tears already forming again. “What are you guys doing here?” Steve looked at Bucky. Bucky was too engrossed with your features to even notice you said anything. He had made you cry. He had hurt you, betrayed you. So, Steve spoke first.</p><p>“I’m really sorry we all accused you of being a Hydra agent and that none of us believed you. And if I’m being honest, I didn’t quite trust you all the way.” Kyle growled and you played with your fingers but Steve continued. “Bucky hasn’t had a break and I thought that instead of trusting you, we should back away. Find your true reason for being here. I wanted to believe you were a double agent because it was easier. I deeply apologize for that and I’m sure the team agrees, that we’ll do anything and everything to make that up to you, I understand if you can’t forgive us yet, I wouldn’t at all if I’m being honest.”</p><p>You nodded and started to speak but Steve shook his head. “You don’t need to say anything, dear. You don’t need to excuse our actions. We screwed up and we’ll do anything we can to mend it.” He nodded at you and left so Bucky could speak.</p><p>He stared at you, not really knowing what to say. His heart was beating crazily, it felt like it was going to fall right out of his chest. To your surprise, his eyes welled with tears. “I am so sorry. I know you can’t forgive me and I am ashamed. This doesn’t excuse any of my actions but I want you to know why I didn’t trust you. Because of Hydra, I was convinced that no one would love me. I was convinced that I would never find happiness for all of the things that I’ve done. You helped me with my nightmares, coming into my bedroom and soothing me, so I latched on to this idea that you were deceiving me, trying to gain my trust to just tear me down. I had no idea the hardships you’ve gone through. So when we all kept thinking about the absences, we made up this story. I never knew you were bisexual and I want you to know that… I-I don’t love you any less because of it.”</p><p>You were shocked, to say the least. He turned to leave but Kyle nudged you and you quickly stopped him. “I’m going to stay here and move out of the compound for a while and I can’t forgive you but… we can start over, as friends and slowly make our way to where we were.” His smile brightened at each word. “But! If anything like this happens again, I’m resigning and never seeing any of you again. You all better promise to come consult me with any doubts, okay?” He nodded and waved as he left the room, feeling hopeful.</p><p>“Time for the end of this sad shit and let’s watch drag race!” You both giggled and you laid on the cot that Jane had brought you shortly after Bucky left. You and Kyle fell asleep to “oh no she betta don’t” in the background.</p>
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